What the hell is wrong with them? Why won't they leave?
Hello, my name is Recee, and I have no clue what's going on with my humans! They haven't left the house in over a month, and I am deeply concerned about their current habits! I share a bed with the lady of the house who goes by the name of Amelia. Please don't get me wrong, I desperately need her attention and love, but she's overtaken my space and privacy. I tried to call 911, but she's always on the phone with her human kittens. I sometimes listen in on her conversations, but I am still wondering why she insists on using that device rather than leaving the house to see them. To my fellow feline friends, if you are also concerned about your humans, please contact me directly: Recce@Meow.Cats
Hello mates! My name is Thunder. Please, don't get it twisted, I'm not a rat! I'm a ferret! Excuse me, I digress. They are always walking back and forth in front of my three-story home - regardless of the time of day. Of course, I enjoy the companionship I receive from my human mates, but I'm starting to worry about their mental state! I also wonder if anyone still loves or cares about them. I've witnessed this incredible bond that these humans share. I haven't seen any of the small humans in a long time, nor have I seen the larger ones. This activity is so bizarre, I must say! I've been descented for crying out loud, so it mustn't be me! If anyone can shed light on this injustice, please contact me directly: Thunder@FerretsAreNotRats.Ferrets
Hello, my name is Sniper and I am going to lose my mind! I've done everything in my power to show these humans the front and back doors of the house. They follow me, yet for the love of catnip, it's as if they've forgotten what they are used for! I deeply love them, so please do not take what I am saying out of context. They permit me to roam the outside perimeter of the house, yet they refuse to leave other than to the black box at the end of the driveway. Quite alarmingly, during my strolls, I've noticed that other humans are nowhere to be found. I was chatting with my buddy Teddy yesterday and he's just as flustered as I am. We discussed this abnormal behavior behind the shed, but we are perplexed. My fellow pussy cats, if you are experiencing the same human behavior as we are, please contact me directly: Sniper@Meow.Cats
Hello, my name is Teddy, and I am profoundly contemplating the fact that I may require the advice of a therapist. Am I needy pussycat? Yes, I am very needy, and they knew this from the start. I rely on daily petting and adoration from my humans; however, this unfamiliar human behavior must stop. They continue to overtake my personal space and expect me to love them at their whim. I thank the Cat God above for the ability to roam the outside area with my comrade, Sniper. However, we both surmise that our humans might be the ones in need of therapy. We've tried to discuss this with a group of strays, and they insisted that a lack of toilet paper was the cause. I am gutted and troubled at what I am witnessing, but I must have hope that my humans will sort this out soon. To my dear feline friends, please connect with me at your earliest convenience if your humans are struggling as well. Teddy@Meow.Cats
Hello, my name is Emily, and I run the show up in this house! I'm the Queen of this castle, and I plan to have a serious discussion with Thunder, Recee, Sniper, and Teddy. Are our humans experiencing something strange? Most likely, but we must be patient with them as they are with us.
To all of my fellow nonhuman subjects - Have no fear! Our humans are here to love and protect us. We have been beside them through thick and thin, especially when they needed us the most! They haven't left us alone in quite some time, but there must be a rational reason.
We've been at their side through hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, drought, fires, sickness, and so much more. Believe in our fellow humans! They are intelligent creatures who put a man on that shiny round thing in the night sky, and provided us with an automatic thing that scoops our poop! Give them time...they will figure this out!
So for now, love them more than ever!