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Hope vs. Death

I thought I would begin by telling you a true story and what inspires me. I worked in a very highly stressful job. Many people depended on me at the workplace. My daughter got sick first with severe Ulcerative Colitis which she almost died from. Then she was diagnosed with Juvenile Huntington’s Disease which her father died from at the age of fifty-three. Eventually, her symptoms got worse, and the concern was that I worked an hour away from home. I became very stressed at work as my mind was at home worried about her.

One day I left work for the hour-long drive. I was in tears all the way home due to all of the stress. I decided to stop at the doctor's office that day as I knew I was not coping well with everything that was going on. He immediately took me off work. My employer allowed me to receive long-term leave. There was another company that monitored "sickness" to ensure that employees were able to take sick leave. Long story short - They sent me to a psychiatrist to do a report.

I went and had one appointment and one only! We talked for a bit. I told her what I was going through and what my children had been diagnosed with. I also explained how their father had died from this disease and why I felt the way I did. She looked at me and said, “This disease is horrible, and there is no cure, so have you made amends with that. Have you talked to your daughter about dying and made arrangements for when it happens? This is something you need to do, and I strongly suggest you think about these things.”

I told her that I have not done what she recommended, nor will I. Yes, I know this disease has no cure, but there is no way in hell I am going to go and tell my daughter (at that time she was twenty-one) to prepare for death. I asked if she had children, and how does anyone know when they will die. They can come down with any number of diseases, or die in a car accident, or so many other things can happen. I will not prepare her for death but continue to instill hope in her and keep her happy as long as I can. How do you know a cure will not be found, or a drug will not come out to prolong their life? You don’t.

I asked the psychiatrist if she was prepared to die. I asked her if she had made arrangements for her death. I understand that when we get older, we think of these things try to prepare. However, how do you make funeral arrangements when your children are in their twenties? I don’t think so! I am in my fifties, and I have not prepared this for myself, so why would I do it for my children? When the time comes, I will deal with it, but not now.

Maybe I am wrong, but at this time I am concentrating on living and instilling love and hope in my children! I believe you should live life to the fullest until the day the Lord takes you! Needless to say, I never went back for another appointment! That was four years ago, and hope and love have gotten me this far!!

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